Eternal Refuge

So - here I am, I only have 2 patients today in Plympton, and got here early so I could write this ... before lunch ... an all day breakfast!   (Speaking of Plympton, I told Mike that I wanted to leave when I was here last week, so that is another stage. )

Last week I eventually saw the physio at Derriford Hospital, Plymouth - and had good and bad news!

The good news is that at long last I have answers to both recent problems, as well as to my long term Asthma/not-asthma problems

I do not use my diaphragm ... and if I do I reverse its use, by locking it and using it to reinforce my upper ribs ... WOW!!!!!!

Yes, I rely on shallow snatch breathing, with an occasional deap breath to catch up - thus when under stress I actually hold by breath as much as possible. So, scary ... but as I have focussed and thought about it, she is correct! I have breathing exercises to do .... and it is weird to have to learn how to breath - surely I had been doing that all my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So - I have answers ... and exercises to do, but it is long term ... so I shall have to wait and see.  Although scary, at least I have proof that there is a problem with my breathing (which is aggrevated by my clarinet playing) ... so now I have to learn how to breath ....

Angel won't be able to teach me (as he told Xander he couldn't do CPR on Buffy) ... but Spike smokes, so he will have to give me lessons ... Poor me, I'll have to suffer!!!!!!

As I said in my 2 photo posts I'm not very well .... still!

My GP thinks I may be actually fighting flu, which is not progressing as I had the flu jab! So, I am on penicillin!

As you can see, I finally gave in - and went back to the doctor, who has put me on penicillin - So I hope it means I can, at long last. get rid of the bugs that I brought back with me from Corfu!

Well, today was my appointment at the hospital to get some treatment and advice from the physiotherapists, for by breathing problems.

As an osteopath I do often get annoyed with the physios, but I was looking foreward to hearing their take on my problems.

I got there and had a form to fill in, saying what the problem was I was there for. Her first comment was "Oh, you aren't in pain?" To which I agreed! She seemed upset (!) or maybe just lost.

She read the form again and then told me that she could give me some advice about coughing fluid out of my lungs - to which I had to ask "Why?", as that is not a problem!

Then she said she would teach me how to use my diaphagm and asked me to breath in and out - and then said, "Oh you use your diaphragm", to which I reminded her that I play a clarinet.

So she said, theres nothing I can think of, so "Good luck for the future" ... and stood up to shake hands!

Yes, that's it!

Oh well - as I have said before, I know there is nothing serious, just wish that I could get some answers to help to calm the surface of the lungs, which is what the actual problem appears to be.

The weekend started off with a bit of an upset for Mum and dad - as I told them that I had made the decision to try to get a ticket to see James in London, even though it was ona Sunday.  Even the moral blackmail didn't change my mind.

So, Saturday progressed - cleaning for Mum and Dad in the morning .... Actually getting quite a bit done for them.  After dinner, Mum and I always go into Torquay - and as I did I had a stab of pain in my left (good) eye.  Hawever it was OK so we went in, I bought some boots and once homechanged into glasses as my eye was still sore.

As tea progressed, so did the pain in my eye.

So, I decided to go to Casualty.  The doctor I saw said I had some sort of infection and gave me cream and pain killers I went home - used the cream ... and pain, pain, PAIN!!!!!!  Dad drove me back as I couldn't think, let alone open my eyes .... Wow, incredible!

The doctor I then saw just gave me more pain killers - and an anesthaetic into my eyes.

So at least the pain had gone, but so had my vision - which is why I just haven't been on-line all weekend.

Pain had gone - but panic was in, I couldn't see the PC to get tickets for James - but I texted a friend, and had the promise that she would  try to get a ticket - so, all in all, I could now relax, while waiting for the following days appointment with the specialist.

Sunday morning - 11am ... 2 minutes silence, and also the appoinment time for the specialist!  A thorough examination and a diagnosis - a Chemical Burn!!!! 

How, When, Why?  Three very good questions!!!!

So more eye-drops, and pain killers and an appointment for Monday.

I slept some of the afternoon - but had a text message -

Yes, I have a ticket to see James ,....... Thank You spikereader - You are the best.  It meant a lot that I knew I could text you.

The funny thing is that until I was typing this I didn't actually know how much the ticket was!!!!  I still have to find out all the details, but I can't thank Caroyn enough.

Monday morning came - more rest, and a short walk with Jiffy, before going back to the hospital to find out that things are getting better.  I have another couple of weeks of treatment and have to have my contact lenses checked out, but all in all it is easing off OK!

I am happy today - and really no great reason, but having read this question :-

So, tell me something that made you happy today, or if it is too early, tell me something that made you happy yesterday. Anything, no matter how little.   Come on, you know something did.

on jaded_jamies post early it made me realise how much I have moaned recently!

Yes, I still can't breathe - but I also know there is nothing wrong with me on a major scale .... the final diagnosis appears to be that the stretch receptors in the surface of my lungs are too sensitive!  So - I must remember that it isn't fatal - life is good.

No, I can't get to see James this weekend.  But again with a positive thought, the man himself was well enough to travel - so that's good.  And, a lot of my friends will be seeing him, so I can be happy for them.  They also get to have fun spending time with each other - so that's great, and I am happy (but jealous)!!!

I rode today with Toni - and although we both get on well with Ros, it hasn't been the same.  toni and I have an amazing friendship - until I met her I didn't know what the concept of "best friend" meant.  So, it was great - and she herself made a similar comment, which did wonders for me as well.  Although I know I am her friend, the doubts of years of bullying are still hard to shake ... which is stupid!!!

Add to that the sun is shining, and it is fairly warm - that always makes you feel good, doesn't it?  And I have washing drying on the line - which is something you can't better.

So, yes, lots to be happy about - Hope that life is going well for you, and that you can think of something positive to report.

I have just started to catch up, and went onto CDS to read that James has been unable to travel to The Hub due to an injury.

I do hope that it is nothing serious - and that he is soon up and about again - And able to get to Halloweden next weekend.

Sorry to friends at The Hub - Try to still have fun.

Get Well Soon James - my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Couldn't resist the title - so I could use the icon!

Hi - How's your week going so far.

Life is pretty OK - some highs and lows, but more up than down, so all in all that's good.

The week started not too great, but then spending a lot of Monday evening "chatting" to a friend made me wake up inspired on Tuesday morning to get life organised.  Business is still slow and I really need to get some decisions made - so I spent some time working on my CV ... didn't get it finished, but contacted another person re references, and getting details sorted out.  So, although not done yet, I am a further step on the way - and want to get it completed next week (nag me if I don't!!)

I was sad on one of my Bible readings - reminding me how I am single; but I also realised that being sad is OK, that is where I am at present.  Maybe I won't always be like this ... maybe I will.  Either is OK, because it is who I am.

Last night I saw Sylv (and Sharon and Chris - the 3 of them were at school together).  It was a great evening, and the good news is (for those who remember), Kay is doing well - they are hoping to reduce her medication, and she may not need that 3rd operation.  So, at 15 months old, life is truly looking up.  Sadly, Sylv had a miscarriage last week, so she wasn't feeling all that great in herself.

This afternoon I saw the specialist - and yes, the hospital tests I had 2 weeks ago, were all clear.  The doctor thinks that the reason I have occasional breathless episodes is that having a hobby of playing a clarinet and suffering with asthma, means that my sub-conscious is quite focussed on my breathing.  Therefore, from time to time, my lungs feel they need an extra help - and it is this that catches me out from time to time.  So - good news.

Well, I think that's a quick catch-up.  Hope life is well with you!

As mountainheather  has just asked thought i would do a mini update!

I went to the hospital today for Lung Function tests and an Echo-Cardiogram.

All I can say is after the breathing to order and the contortionist position for the scan I came out less healthy than I went in!!!

This is to finally see what caused me to stop breathing back in January - they obviously didn't agree with the rest of you that said it was getting ready to see James that caused an early attack of JamesFog!!!  Anyway, the chest guy siad things seemed OK, and the heart guy said that the was nothing exciting to talk about - Although both said they couldn't actually tell me!!  I see the specialist in 2 weeks - so will have to see, and hopefully will be the all-clear and it will have turned out to be a mystery virus.

Then iit was off to the dentist - although I had been about 8 months ago, I ended up needing 4 fillings today - fortunately they were in 3 teeth and all on the one side - so could be done with one injection (yes, I'm a coward!)

Then to top off my day - the osteopath.  I try to go every 6 months, and although there about 6 weeks ago, it had been a long gap before that, so got the 2nd appointment to make sure everything was settling.

Right - I'm off now for a soak in a hot bath ... and an early night!

Hope you all behave yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!

btw - I left my new default icon up - Hope you like it.