How Can You Tell When A Friend Is A Friend .... ?

[debris4spike]

When you get an unexpected gift on a day you need it!

Thank you jaded_jamie for the sugary treat that hopped my way - I needed that this morning.


As I have often said, I don't remember my dreams, but on the rare times I do it is usually because they have saddened me.

Last night I was dreaming about sitting in my parents lounge ... the one we had when I was a teen, yet "he" and I were the ages we are now.  We were sitting on adjoining comfy chaires, chatting.  My hand was resting on the arm of his chair, and his hand was covering mine, stroking it.  Yummy!!!

He then said ... "Let's go for a walk" ... and we were in the garden at M&D's present house preparing to walk out the the back gate ... he went to take my hand, and I said "You can't do that, Mum always told me my hands don't hang properly"

And I woke up!

The sad, but true thing is, that I have a vague recognition of her saying that in the past ... so I must have been young at the time ... but I can't ask her as she would get upset ... Mum doesn't understand my hang-ups about me!

#

Oh well -  I suppose that as there is no one I am likely to be in that situation with, I should put it behind me ... but as ever, truth hurts ... whether it's the truth of not being part of a couple ... or the fact that my arms hang wrong, I don't know - LOL

I am trying to be more positive, so am not going to dwell on that particualr dilemma ...


So, I had better get dressed, and wander off to the shops - otherwise "starvation" looms!

Hope you have a great day.

Thanks, again, Jamie ... Father knows what I need.

 

Comments

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry your mother's words hurt you. My own mother once told me I would never be able to keep friends. I know she was trying to get me to change something about myself at the time, but those words carried a great deal of pain for me even today.

I couldn't talk to my mother about feelings or my life most of the time. She would say I was hurting her and to stop. Choices I made over the years would have upset her if I had tried to talk to her about them. So I let her live in her own world and keep parts of my life secret. I understand she was from a different time and her upbringing formed her. The life I have had to live is so very different than her own.

[debris4spike]

Thanks - yes, I'm sure it was just a throw away comment by Mum - I don't really remember it happening. Although it didn't seem to me to be an unknown phrase.

Yes, if I make a personal comment about myself, Mum says I am hurting her - I don't get that ... so good to know that others have used the same phrase. I am learning to bite my tongue more around her.

I say we are too alike - I'm glad we are friends ... and you get to "keep" me ... The other way of saying that is that "there's no getting rid of me"!

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

I dont think your Mother would have realised what she was saying there or the ramifications of it. I'm sorry to hear it though. Dreams are strange sometimes :)

*hug*

[debris4spike]

Thanks - yes, I'm sure it was just a throw away comment by Mum - I don't really remember it happening. Although it didn't seem to me to be an unknown phrase.

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

Exactly, she didn't mean harm I am sure, but it is amazing how much harm they can do, without even knowing. There have been things my kids have told me that I said, in a throw away comment like that and I'm horrified to realise they took it so badly.

Besides anyone who knows you, knows you're made of win, so there X-D

[debris4spike]

Thanks - loved your final comment!!!

[cbtreks.livejournal.com]

I think all mothers, even the best ones, say things that hurt their children, even years after the fact. When I remember those things, I always choose not to bring it, so I understand why you don't want to. (And of course, even the best kids hurt their parents. Unless there's a perfect child out there somewhere!)

[debris4spike]

Thanks - yes, I'm sure it was just a throw away comment by Mum - I don't really remember it happening. Although it didn't seem to me to be an unknown phrase.

Oh yes, I'm sure I've said the "occasional" thing myself!

Thanks

[auntiero.livejournal.com]

Well... look at it this way... you have uniquely hanging hands! It's one of the things that makes you, You, and that's not a bad thing at all! :D

*hugs*

Love to you today. :D

[debris4spike]

Unique is a much nicer word than weird!!! Thanks - great focus!

Hugs you back!

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

There is nothing wrong with your hands or with you:)

[debris4spike]

Thanks Deborah.

*hugs*

[strikske.livejournal.com]

It's sad that you remember this comment from your mother, perhaps she made in it a different context then you remember seeing that you were young at the time. Plz don't let those comments hold you back from something that ou want to do. Everybody has some things that they are not happy with otherwise it would be a very dull world if we were all alike and perfect.(That we are not perfect makes us unique people)I like you no mather what.

*Cuddles*

[debris4spike]

Thanks - it's no doubt one of those "throw away" lines we all use - just ironical that it comes back to me, all these years on.

Yes, "unique" is a word we must all focus on.

Thanks - Hugs you.