December Meme ... Day 16

[debris4spike]

Day 16 → something that made you sad this year

There's an obvious answer here ... becoming an orphan in September. Dad (and Mum) were friends, as well as parents. Although I know they are in Heaven and I will see them again, it's sad not to be able to chat to them, see them, give them a hug (and get a hug back).

The other thing that made me sad is that I still find it impossible to cry for them. I often have found that I find it impossible to cry for my major losses ... but that makes me sad.

Comments

[desdemonaspace]

You had huge losses this year. Wish I could be there to give you a hug myself.

[debris4spike]

Thank you so much, the love and support of my friends here mean so, so much.

*hugs*

[badfalcon.livejournal.com]

*offers hugs*

[debris4spike]

Thank you so much, the love and support of my friends here mean so, so much.

*hugs*

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

(Hugs))

Some griefs run too deep for tears xx

[debris4spike]

Thank you, although it just seems so wrong, even though I know there is no "correct" way to grieve.

This feeling of limbo just seems so odd

*hugs*

[kindredspirit75.livejournal.com]

God bless you, Deb.

(hugs)

[debris4spike]

Thank you so much, the love and support of my friends here mean so, so much.

*hugs*

[double_dutchess]

Not a good year, this :-(

Wishing you lots of strength to cope with your loss.

[debris4spike]

Thank you so much, the love and support of my friends here mean so, so much.

*hugs*

[cbtreks.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[debris4spike]

Thank you so much, the love and support of my friends here mean so, so much.

*hugs*

[lifefailsme.livejournal.com]

We share an inability to cry. We find other ways to grieve our losses and that's okay.

*hug*

[debris4spike]

Thank you *hugs*

It just seems wrong not to be able to cry.

[lifefailsme.livejournal.com]

I think I know why I find it very difficult, I can pin point to something my Mother said to me when I was a kid that she probably utterly forgot she had said it but it was one of those things that is burned into my memory, it was not very nice. Unusually in therapy pin pointing it didnt really "resolve" it but there's a few things like that. But that doesnt mean it is always something you can put a finger on for everyone or even a bad thing. Sometimes I find it best to say "Meh, it's just how it is." I tend to overthink stuff. I think you're like me that when you look at yourself you tend to come down on the self negative conclusion. I've known a few people who find it difficult/impossible to cry and they are all very different people so *shrug*

*smish*

[debris4spike]

Reading your reply made me re-think my life-thoughts, and it has occured to me that we grew up with the phrase "Don't make a fuss". Mum was someone who never screamed, yelled, cried at all .... and that expression of emotion was frowned on.

Maybe that's something that we all struggle with

[lifefailsme.livejournal.com]

See my Mam was the polar opposite of that. Everything emotional was expressed to a FAULT most of the time. Unless it was not her, then it was scorned. I guess meeting somewhere in the middle would get different results?

There's nothing wrong with a bif of supression, perhaps not the Royal level of it lol

But yeah, sounds like that kind of tude in an upbringing would help to make adults who found crying difficult. Understanding why doesnt mean it is/was wrong or we have to change it imho. Saying "So that's why." But not feeling compelled to think of it as a fault or something that must change is not a bad thing. We is who we is and a lot of the time that's plain fine :D