At Long Last - An Update

[debris4spike]

Not that there's any real news, but I have been a bit "in and out" so haven't really kept you all up to date with the trauma that's me at present!

On the good news side -

• Claire is doing well - is now almost back up to full time hours, although some of those are spent working from home ... but she is doing well, and rarely gets super-tired now.  She has been enjoying a "Force" charity return to work thingy.  A charity to support those with cancer, and their families ... she even persuaded Tim to have a couple of massages, so all in all good news.


• Andrew is already getting organised for his move, sorting out housing, a Church ... so at the moment it's going well ... butterflies have still to arrive!


• Jiffy is having fun with the better weather - Mum & Dad can keep the back door open, so he can let himself out to bark at the magpies when they land on the neighbours house!  I am sure he sometimes sees invisible rhinoceroses though as he can be charging around more than needed for one bird!


• Dad still plays the piano at Church every other week - Anne the organist is slowly improving from her cancer ... so they share it, which is great for them both.

Well sadly that's all I can think about on the positive :(  ... so now for the not good news!!

• Mum is in a lot of pain - she has inflamed one of the tendons in her hip, and despite having an injection she is not much easier.  She is sleeping a lot and is finding movement very hard .. which is really depressing for her.  Sadly she is a bit more intolerant of Dad's poor memory, which causes tension.  He knows it, and accepts it ... until he is having a bad moment, and then it is not easy for either of them.  In calm times they both know that "you only hurt the one you love" ... and sadly being able to snap shows that after 62 years of marriage they are still working well together!  So negative and positive at the same time!


• I have had to abandon my fence painting - have 1 1/2 sides done ... hope to get the rest done a few planks at a time.


• I have less than 2 weeks to go now ... and am rapidly losing mobility ... very stiff and achy all the time, despite keeping going as much as possible and taking pain killers as needed.  I have also had to stop wearing my lenses, although have tried a few times, within about 3 hours of them in, despite eye-drops, my eyes feel full of gravel.  I ended up seeing an optician locally as couldn't drive to mine in Bude.  She said that my eyes look ok (so that's good), but that I needed new glasses if I was going to wear them all the time - the cheapest I could get were £400, but I am happy in them ... and am, after all these years, thinking that depending on the diagnosis I may go into glasses full time.


• Yes, can't drive very far at all - which means my day trip plans with my friend from Church have mostly been missed this summer ... and I had to say I wont be playing in the orchestra concert ... both the drive and the weakness and slowness in my fingers will stop that.


• Mum & Dad's house and garden are no where near as tidy as I had hoped .... I can't work a full Saturday on it ... even though Jiffy helps!  I have mostly managed to keep the garden about 75% tidy ... as it's good to work outside, but housework has been a  bit sparse ... so don't look at the dust if you pop over for a cuppa ;)

Well that seems about most of what's happening ... in other words not much as I can't do too much, and when I can I can't afford it as I have had to cut my hours back!

Sorry for a  bit of a moan, but mostly this was meant to catch friends back up to date .... and to explain why I am sometimes a bit MIA!!

Comments

[kazzy-cee.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you are able to find some positives, but I am worried about your mobility and the weakness you seen to have. Can your GP hurry up your appointment? It seems a long time to wait if you are feeling so under the weather.

[debris4spike]

I did try to hurry up the appt, but he is the best, so everyone wants appts with him .... oh well, less than a week to go ... I just hope he finds what the problem is after all this wait!

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

I am as well MIA a great deal of time now. I just can't seem to find motivation to do anything. I just seem to be drifting. Doing what must be done and drawing into myself too often.

I'm sorry about your parents. It's difficult to watch and know that they are facing such worries. You want to "fix" things for them and it just isn't possible. I know you do a great deal of the work around your parents' home. Do your brothers help? I was the main person to care for my family for so long. My brother never help much at all. All of my family just expected me to do it all. My mother would explain it away that my brother had a job and a family to care for so he couldn't be bothered.

Have the doctors not figured out why you are in such pain or found a treatment for it?

[debris4spike]

My doctor suggested I take time off work - but I said I wouldn't get paid ... and also I was worried that I would withdraw more into myself ... so I kept pottering at things, and hope to get more motivated each day (that doesn't always happen though!)

Yes it's hard not to be able to do all I need to do for Mum & Dad ... even though they know the problems I am having. Dont you realise it - both my brothers have tough jobs!!!! Yes, that's what they tell me on a regular basis. It adds onto the fact I am the girl ... and also as I'm single I "obviously" don't have anything better to do with my time!!!! On a bad day I do resent them a bit, but there again I know that when "the" day comes I can say I have tried pretty hard to be there for them.

I see the specialist next week - none of my tests have added up to a full diagnosis, so am seeing a specialist at the hospital - but it was a long waiting list.

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

It's so strange that two or one parents can raise several children, but years later only one child is able to take care of the parent/parents. My brother left home at 21. A year later at 14, I was told I had to get my driver's license. My dad worked on the road so he wasn't home much. My mother who was 50 didn't have a driver's license so it was decided I had to get one. I think I have told you that before. It was only last year I realized that was kinda odd. A grown woman who wouldn't allow her thirteen year old to go more than a few blocks on her bike, but suddenly a year later that child was given keys to a car.

Yes, my brother was not to be asked to do anything. He had a family and a job. Didn't matter that I had a husband, two stepsons and a job. It was my task to do it all. My husband and kids would help around the house fixing things, but I got to do all the driving both my mom and my grandmother to wherever they needed to go. When my brother and his family visited, they didn't have to do anything. I just took it for granted till Robert asked me why my family treated my brother so much better than me. This was a ten yr old asking. Yes, my mind fix was set very early that it was my duty. And I'm glad I was able to do for my family, but it would have been nice to have help once in awhile.

I hope your specialist can figure out what is going on because then you can do something to get better. Not knowing and being in pain/tired all the time is draining.

[debris4spike]

Hadn't heard the story of you learning to drive. I had almost the opposite as Nick & Tim were both encouraged to learn at 17, and I was 20 (and had to pay for lessons, rather than using Dad's car)

Mine is mostly Mum who is more smuthering as the years go by. Dad knows the problem, as she tends to moan at him for forgetting things! She has OCD and really has a habit that if she likes something then it must be right!

Yes, my mind fix was set very early that it was my duty. And I'm glad I was able to do for my family, but it would have been nice to have help once in awhile. Yes, exactly.

I think the nearer it gets to my appt I now am in a panic that he wont find anything wrong with me!

*hugs*

[spikereader.livejournal.com]

I wish the appointment was sooner for you - your mobility seems to be getting worse very quickly without you knowing what's wrong, very worrying for you I'm sure, and a situation causing concern for your friends as well. *hugs*

[debris4spike]

Thanks Carolyn

I did try to hurry up the appt, but he is the best, so everyone wants appts with him .... oh well, less than a week to go ... I just hope he finds what the problem is after all this wait!

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

Oh Deborah so sorry to read this

Can't you get that appointment hurried up! Two weeks is too long when you're also trying to care for your parents!

[debris4spike]

Thanks Deb -

I did try to hurry up the appt, but he is the best, so everyone wants appts with him .... oh well, less than a week to go ... I just hope he finds what the problem is after all this wait!

Yes it's hard not to be able to do all I need to do for Mum & Dad ... even though they know the problems I am having.

[cordykitten]

Sending hugs and good vibes.

I'm glad that you can still see the positive. Don't let the negative bring you down.
*hugs*

[debris4spike]

Thanks Cordy - not long to wait for answers ... I hope!

[fudgepickles.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you! Sending warm fuzzies.

[debris4spike]

Thank you - *hugs*