debris4spike: (Want a hug - Cap'n John)
[personal profile] debris4spike
I know some of my friends have problems "once a month" - and I am pretty lucky.

However someone has just e-mailed me this - so, maybe I am not as hormone-free as I thought I was. 

Thought I would share it with you all :-

The Hormone Guide

 
 Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!   Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his  mouth and he takes his life in his hands!  This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license  in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

 DANGEROUS:

 SAFER:

SAFEST:

ULTRA SAFE:

>>
What's for dinner?

 Can I help you with dinner?

 Where would you like to go for dinner?

 Here, have some wine.

>>
Are you wearing that?

>> Wow, you sure look good in brown!

>> WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

>>
 What are you so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?

 Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

>>
 Should you be eating that?

 You know, there are a lot of apples left.

 Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

>>
What did you DO all day?

 I hope you didn't over-do it today.

 I've always loved you in that robe!

Here, have some wine


 13 Things PMS Stands For:

 1. Pass My Shotgun
 2. Psychotic Mood Shift
 3. Perpetual Munching Spree
 4. Puffy Mid-Section
 5. People Make me Sick
 6. Provide Me with Sweets
 7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
 9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pi*sy Mood Syndrome
 11. Plainly; Men Suck
 12. Pack My Stuff
 And my favorite one.
 13. Potential Murder Suspect

And men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!

 

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