5 Questions ... & Answers

[debris4spike]

Some time ago I answered one of the cahllenges on a couple of other freinds LJ's to get asked 5 questions by them.

As life tends to get hectic I shall (at long last) answer one of them ... and they are answered in the order I got them ... no preferential treatment!

Anyhow, jaded_jamie  asked the first lot ... and as with the other questions I got asked there are some good soul-searching ones!

1: Do you agree with capital punishment and why?
2: Are online interpersonal relationships/friends easier?
3: Who has hurt you the most in your life?
4: What is your fandom and why?
5: When did you last cry?




1: Do you agree with capital punishment and why?

As ever when you see this question you know that your answer will not be simple ... and will probably offend some people.  So let me say that to begin with!  If you don't agree with me ... OK ... I can accept that. 

My basic answer is "Yes, in principle", but in practice it's very hard to do.

The are some terrible and re-occuring criminals who prey on children (especially).  The suffering they cause lasts for the victims lives ... and for many there is no real reasonable excuse.  There are recurrent rapists as well.  To name the most common "disasters" 

However I do believe in forgiveness - especially true eternal forgivenes.  So that anyone, whatever their past can truly regret and ask forgiveness ... so this is where the answer further becomes a "grey" area. 

There is no easy answer - and I thoink I will muddle myself further by trying to split the facts more.  One point I will say though is that many of the problems related to capital punishment are aggrevated by the governments (etc) that organise the systems.  So in thinking of the initial question I am ignoring the assorted systems already in place and gave a couple of generalised points.
 
2: Are online interpersonal relationships/friends easier?

Yes - and no!

I have one or two good RL friends ... I have one or two special LJ friends (and lots of other friends on LJ) ... I suppose part of online life is you have time to think as you type ... I know I'm doing that as I work out how to answer the question - RL doesn't give that and it's easier to say the wrong thing ... although face to face you get to see the person's eyes ... so it's easier to know the truth!

I have a bad habit of liking someone (or not) when i first meet them ... and have yet to change my mind after that initial impression ... LJ is harder ... it takes me a couple of entries/comments before I know what I think!

So ... yes & no! 

3: Who has hurt you the most in your life?

Maybe the real answer to this is "me"

If I could put aside my insecurities ... be more willing to share myself ... maybe I wouldn't have been so isolated, which is the thing that causes me the most pain.

However, many of those insecurities come from 2 main sources.

a)  My family has always menat a lot to me ... but I know in putting them first I have lost much of "me".

b)  Lesley bullied me from age 9 - 17 ... she made me feel nothing - broke up any tentative friendships, till I gave up ... thus pushing me to my family for friendship ... so aggrevating the problem.

Yes, I can type this - yes, I know this ... but I can't do a thing about it in RL!! 

4: What is your fandom and why?

Wonder which Jamie meant ... so he'll get both answers -

a)  Spike - and Spuffy.

As most of you know I only started watching BtVS in mid season 7 ... and was fascinated of the story of the wicked guy looking for forgiveness ... watching Spike's story, my heart goes out to him.  Never really being loved yet always looking for it.  He was willing to put himself "on the line" for those he loved ... yet never really got any true support.

In the end Spike does the ultimate of looking for forgiveness ... and still helping those who have rejected him.

Buffy was pushed around by many - even though she was physically strong she was emotionally week.  For the 2 of them they have an on-going deep story.  One so rarely seen in a work of fiction ... and one that has inspired countless hours of fiction and artwork ... that in itself is testament to the depth of feelings they illicit (not just from me) 

As BtVS finished I was upset and decided to re-write the ending ... the first attempt I've ever had at writing ... and the reason that I ended up on LJ!

b) James

Come on - you had to guess!

His acting is what drew me to BtVS - I saw a vampire fighting restraints, having just been sitting leaning against his mothers knee ... one scene, yet amazing acting.  (Lies, season 7)

Having watched BtVS and heard his CD, I decided that I wanted to go to hear him sing live ... that was the first time I have ever thought about such a thing - let alone did it.  That concert (like others) was amazing - he seemed so casual as if we were all firnds - that relaxed atmosphere was very special.  I then travelled to Milton Keyenes to have my picture taken ... and still don't remember that!  But, I do remember having my autograph signed ... and ahving watched a couple of others being so speedy as to harly nod, I was stunned with a handshake and a personal conversation - he answered my comment with a personal question to me ... for htose seconds he was focussed on me ... and that is a very special talent.

He is a great actor who I would love to see getting the screen rcognition he deserves.

And I do hope that he gets to England next year - the withdrawel symptoms have been bad!

5: When did you last cry?

I think the last time was a week (or so) ago ... while praying for someone.  It made my mind drift and a deep sense of sadnes overwhelmed me! 

I think that is something I seem to go through every few months ... although there are one or two films that can also make me well up (but very rarely cry)



Wow - if any of you are still awake I am amazed!

Comments

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

Wide awake, and interesting answers.

Regarding#3 you ARE doing something about it in RL you've grown so much in strength and confidence. From going to that first gig to changing career, buying a new house! You're amazing. Belive in yourself and know that every day you are proving that bully wrong.

[debris4spike]

Thanks Deb - yes, I suppose I know I am "winning" ... but that's within certain boundaries ... maybe one day I shall be able to conquer the rest.

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

1) Jamie asked me about capital punishment as well. It's a very difficult issue. If a child is harmed, I don't think I could forgive anyone.

2) RL relationships are much harder to me. I can open up more to online friends.

3)I think you are too hard on yourself. Like you, I've spend most of my life doing for others. I set my needs and wants aside to do what others needed me to do. That's why the last few years, I've started pushing some people away. I refuse to allow them to control me or make me feel bad anymore. My family is upset with me about it. I just had to start caring about me instead of everyone else. I think I have earned it.

4)I agree with all of your answer.

5)I generally cry when I learn of someone else being hurt. I seldom cry for me. I cried for a co-worker who just lost her mother. I couldn't even express to her how sorry I was for her without crying.

[debris4spike]

Capital punishment has so many layers, doesn't it ... but how anyone can think there is an excuse for child harm and abuse, I just don't know.

I still can't take that last step with the family - I give a gentle push, see Mum (or Dad's) face ... and retreat!!

Yes, hadn't remembered that - I cry with others ... but mostly only those I know.

[louise39.livejournal.com]

Good for you!! So open and so brave and so ready for changes!!

"Helen Keller wrote, "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world”

[debris4spike]

Thank you.

That's true (your quote ... not me!!) ... without the dark clouds we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine.

[jerusha]

I totally agree with your views on the death penalty. I have read cases where I really feel as though the perpetrator is evil incarnate, but at the same time, there's always the chance that it's the wrong person, or that the person could seek redemption. So, it's a tough question!

As for the rest, I know exactly what you mean on the bullying thing. My family was really important to me, too, mostly because we moved so much. That really impacted my ability to make connections outside my family, and being bullied made me feel as though I couldn't be safe with anyone outside my family.

[debris4spike]

Capital punishment has so many layers, doesn't it ... hard to get the balance - and to know that we have the right person.

It's true ... that feeling of safety was (and is) very important to me within the family.

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

1: You make excellent points. I believe in Life without Parole for all serial killers and sex offenders... You know how I feel about Capital Punishment anyway... :)

2: Excellent answer hehe!


3: That is the best answer I ever read to this question! Ever. I am sorry you went through such things, had I been there, or could I go back, it wouldn't have happened.


4: Hehe Way to go!!


5: *hug tight*


Excellent memeing chuck and thanks for getting around to it, I know you are very busy ATM.

[debris4spike]

Thanks Jamie - great questions that made me think!!

I can never understand a Lifer getting out after "a few" years, with good behaviour - to me that is a mockery of the justice system.

Come on, you must have known my Fandom answer .... but it was good to get James into an answer ... so thank you!!

*hugs*

[shinybaum.livejournal.com]

Those are my thoughts on capital punishment. Okay in theory but then you have to rely on people.

5. What films?

[debris4spike]

So treu ... that's what I realied as I was trying to put together my thoughts. That whatever I (or a country) believes ... it is down to "the system" to organise things ... and that's were the complications increase.

5 - "Gone With The Wind" is still the classic ... but often films with a happy ending like "An Affair To Remember" or "Sleepless in Seatle" or "Apollo 13".

Sometimes an odd line will catch me ... and I gulp, but then enjoy the rest of the film!!

[littlefootlll.livejournal.com]

1) I couldn't have said it better. In principle, the punishment should fit the crime so it makes some sense but its not that easy because sometimes people do make a genuine change and then there's the whole aspect of playing God. At the same time, there's some people who are just dangerous to society. It's all very grey ultimately.

2) Strangely, I think that my online relationships have helped strengthen my real life relationships. There's a certain level of safety and comfort I think that comes from sharing things with people that may not know you in real life. I think that level of comfort and safety though have made me more willing to open up and that's helped me with my real life interactions. I've never been all that good at dealing with conflict/confrontation but I really think my online relationships have helped with that.

3) I've been thinking a lot about insecurities lately. It doesn't matter where they come from, they are still hugely powerful and very lasting. I think the best thing we can do is just constantly remind ourselves of who we are in Christ and give our insecurities to Him. Not something always easy to do in the slightest but I'm definitely working on it :)

I really enjoyed reading this and learning more about you :)

[debris4spike]

1) I know what the person asking felt, so that helped ... but the more I started to type the more I realised how grey things were!

2) I have always been great at hiding in a corner - so my pc lets me chose when to speak ... that has made things easier - still hope it stretches to RL, as well!

Thanks very much - I have some more to do (when I get time!!)

[littlefootlll.livejournal.com]

1) The same thing happened to me as I was typing my response, haha.

2) A day at a time, right?

I will look forward to reading them :)