debris4spike: (James with Halo!)
[personal profile] debris4spike

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).


The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How on Earth did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde entered Heaven...



... you're singing it now , aren't you…??

Date: 2011-02-14 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strikske.livejournal.com
*gg* I don't know the words only the title so no singing for me.

eta LJ didn't want laughing James But I Insist:D
Edited Date: 2011-02-14 08:34 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-14 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lupina78.livejournal.com
Okay...I totally understood questions and answers one and two, but since I didn´t know the lyrics to Walzing Matilda I didn´t get the joke. LOL Googled it though, now I understand...*grin*

Still I´m confused about the the third question of St. Peter...no where in the lyrics could I find the name of this swagman, now I´m curious!!! LOL

Funny little story!! Thanks for sharing! ♥

Date: 2011-02-14 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] edenskye.livejournal.com
giggles snorts. I love this joke.

Date: 2011-02-14 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
LOL Very cute, and yes, I will be humming for a while....

Date: 2011-02-14 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hexebusterjaxon.livejournal.com
The words are: and he sat, and he watched, and he waited till his billy boiled... get it "Andy sat" ????

Date: 2011-02-14 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illuminanted.livejournal.com
Haha, I got the first two questions but since I didn't know the lyrics of the song (now I do - thank you Google :D) I didn't get the joke right away but now I do. :D

Date: 2011-02-15 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illuminanted.livejournal.com
Haha, yes, one learns every day. ;)

Date: 2011-02-15 01:15 am (UTC)
ext_106804: (lol spike)
From: [identity profile] teragramm.livejournal.com
Very cute very funny! I so enjoyed this joke. Thank you
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-02-15 01:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ayinhara.livejournal.com
I had to look up the lyrics for Waltzing Matilda too. Fortunately wikipedia also explained the slang. Another example of being "separated by a common language", I had never heard the term "swagman" and had no idea what the words in the title mean.

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