New Alphabet

[debris4spike]

My cousin, who is 95, has just e-mailed this to me ... and thought I would share it.

It rings a lot of bells for me - some of you, it will just give you a hint of joys to come!!

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float !
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The Alphabet:

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac ?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line !
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H . high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I . for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex ?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow !
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new !
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu ?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears !
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, NOW what's going 'round ?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed !!!

Comments

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

I think it is beyond epic that someone who is 95 is using emails! Go world!

[debris4spike]

Brilliant - isn't it?

Uncle Charles had fis first computer for his 90th birthday pressie!

[cordykitten]

Heh Thanks to your cousin for finding that. Very funny (and sadly indeed things that could come).
Mind if I snag for reposting?

[debris4spike]

Yes - spread the fun!

[louise39.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, that was funny. It's sad when your most used numbers begin with D for Doctor...

Sent this to some of my friends to laugh.
Thanks to you and your amazingly young cousin.

[debris4spike]

LOL