debris4spike: (Dad)
39 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write down the first ten songs that pop up.

  1. Pomp & Circumstance No 4

  2. All that she wanted - James Marsters

  3. Bad - James Marsters

  4. Katie - James Marsters

  5. Bless 'em all

  6. Blocking Brainwaves - Ghost of the Robot

  7. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

  8. Be Thou my vision

  9. Long Tall Sally - Elvis Presley

  10. Bye Bye, love - Everley Brothers


Honest. I didn't cheat 3 (4) are James Marsters.



40 - What were your highs and lows of the past year?

Obviously loosing Dad was the low point ... as was helping him to cope with loosing Mum and also his independence. Although I do have some good memories of some of those days.

So spending time with Dad was special ... as was my trip to London. I plan to go back to London in November again, and know I will see Dad again in Eternity.



The list of 365 questions can be found here

365 Meme Day 4

Wednesday, January 4th, 2017 08:17 pm
debris4spike: (Dad)
What is your best memory of last year?

I had some truly special times with Dad .... I have posted the pictures before, but this one of us on Father's Day is just so wonderful. I was trying to get Dad to look at the camera and we had such a long laugh.

 photo 97319261-27f0-461d-add4-1a6c9fb1ea9a_zpsl9hrh6gk.png

There are other great moments, but these moments still make me smile, as I think of them.


The list of 365 questions can be found here


###

Yes, I'm all behind with replying to comments, I know. I aim to catch up over the weekend. I am back at work, but struggling with tiredness, as well as still a bit of a cough. Today I left 1 1/2 hours early ... but just so glad to have stayed that long. Back again tomorrow.
debris4spike: (Dad)
Day 16 → something that made you sad this year

There's an obvious answer here ... becoming an orphan in September. Dad (and Mum) were friends, as well as parents. Although I know they are in Heaven and I will see them again, it's sad not to be able to chat to them, see them, give them a hug (and get a hug back).

The other thing that made me sad is that I still find it impossible to cry for them. I often have found that I find it impossible to cry for my major losses ... but that makes me sad.
debris4spike: (LOL - James)
Day 15 → something that made you laugh this year

Despite my year in general I am a fairly happy person normally.

However Jiffy does keep me amused. Sometimes he looks at me as if I have flipped, and that makes me grin at him!!

However here is photographic evidence of laughter.  Taken on Father's Day I was trying to get Dad to look at the camera ... and it got very silly ... Great memory

 photo 97319261-27f0-461d-add4-1a6c9fb1ea9a_zpsl9hrh6gk.png
debris4spike: (Poppy Wreath)
The real reason I chose the weekend I did to go to London was to be there for the 11/11

The first year I was at college (1979), there was a bomb scare in our building and I walked over to see what all the people were doing.  And on the Thursday before that Sunday there is the dedication of the Field of Remembrance that is held in the grounds of St Margaret's.  I went every year until we moved to Bude.  Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother used to attend.  I have been down a couple of times since, and although I missed the service I did go to the field.

Every regiment has it's own plot, and I always used to go to The Northamptonshire Regt, as my Granddad was in that regt, and served 1914 - 1918.   He had died in 1978, which is why I went there the first time, but after that I got to know some of the other attendees and used to meet up with them.

This year I also wanted to go to the Home Guard memorial, as Dad had served with them.

Pause and remember )
debris4spike: (E.M.M.H.)
Day 12 → talk about this year in medical news

For any who know me, they will realise that I have had some tough health problems.

Back in January I had a viral chest infection, that was so bad that my GP was worried that I had a blood clot on my lungs, or had a heart attack.  Fortunately all was OK, but it took 7 weeks before I was well enough to go back to work.

Then I broke a crown off a tooth, and when treatment started I ended up with an infection, so lost the tooth ... and got an infection in the socket!

Now, I am off work again with a virus.  However my doctor has said that the virus is just the name to put on the off-work certificate, but mostly it is emotional exhaustion that has knocked me down.  So 2 weeks off already, and now this coming week, but hoping to cope with going back to work next week.

###

Other medical news was Dad having another stroke in the Spring, and then (as you know) he died on the 2nd September)

His sister was in hospital for 2 weeks with BP problems, and a urine infection.

Jiffy had to have his anal glands removed, as well as a large wart removed from his face a month after Dad's death.  He has also had 3 or 4 skin infections this year (he has one at present)

###

Roll on 2017!!!
debris4spike: (James - thinky thoughts)
Day 11 → talk about volunteering/charity this year.

I have a few charities that I support on a regular basis, and some others that if I see a tin I put some money in.

Not long after Dad went into care I went on the family committee.  That was good as long as it lasted.  For me it was a case of knowing that I was involved with Dad's care, as much as I could.  But that's all for this year.

Hopefully next year I shall find something I can help with.
debris4spike: (Clarinet.)
Day 07 → talk about music this year

Oooops, was going to post this yesterday and then got distracted when the plumber came to remove the sink and gas hob ready for today ... and didn't get back to LJ

Anyway, as I type this there is an old Christmas CD playing while the kitchen is being worked on.

I haven't really heard much that has really caught my imagination, although I have a clock radio, so wake to music.

I haven't been to any live music, unless singing hymns in Church counts.  Acyually as I typed that I realised it was a lie!!!  I went with Dad to a couple of their sing-along entertainments that he had at his home.  Even got roped into doing the Hokey Cokey with the entertainments officer at one of them!

I haven't been involved in any music either this year, but have decided that next year I want to get back to my clarinet. So am looking into lessons, or something, otherwise I will never practice regularly.
debris4spike: (Child)
I have snagged this December Meme from [livejournal.com profile] zhelana ....So, here are the 31 questions )

Day 01 → a picture of you taken this year

 photo With dad_zpst3anffu6.png
So this was the photo taken with Dad last June, and by myself on Glastonbury Tor
 photo DSC_0357_zps6ga2xp1r.jpg

PS - the icon is also me!

Please snag and enjoy.
debris4spike: (Sorry ... James)
No more photos for another couple of days, no time to check my f-list .... Life is still taking over.

I have got rid of the stuff, mostly, around the staires, but still have some furniture to move, so almost ready for the decorators to return for the next time.

On Sunday I did pop to visit Auntie Joyce.  Spoke to Brenda and she had persuaded Nick not to do the trip, which I agreed with.  He is not coping at all.  His work have been great, but even that hasn't been the answer, although it has helped him.  At least he is admitting he can't cope with life, so that's positive.  Brenda is busy at work, and coping with Nick, plus being taxi driver to the 3 younger boys!  So, I left here at just before 9am, having taken Jiffy for an early walk, and stopped for lunch and eventually got there at about 2.15pm.  The nurse said she is actually doing OK, and they hope to discharge her home sometime this week.  I stayed about 2 hours, and headed back home.  Stopping for tea, and getting stuck in traffic, I eventually made it hope about 10.30pm.  Jiffy had been a good boy, and "kept his legs crossed".

Poor boy, especially as yesterday the weather was horric, so another day without a real walk again.  I was shattered all day, but an early night and a later start today have helped me to feel more human again.

In a minute I am off to the solicitors to "swear" the probate on dad's will.  Then back to work again this afternoon.

Work tomorrow, but then an extra day off to start sorting things out (ha, ha).  So hopefully I shall get some photos sorted and up, and get comments answered.

Sorry - will try to be a better friend soon, I promise (fingers crossed)
debris4spike: (Procrastinate - daleks.)
Here is a meme I snagged from [livejournal.com profile] orangerful[livejournal.com profile] orangerful

  • Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favourite shoes. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them as an LJ entry. Ask for as many as you want!


 photo 102764_zpsanf5wwa1.gif

And, as ever, I am playing catch-up .... Happy Birthday, yesterday to [livejournal.com profile] brunettepet and [livejournal.com profile] rebcake

I had a fairly good weekend, although still haven't started on all the letters I need to write to thank people for the lovely cards I had for Dad.  Every time I sit to write one Jiffy disturbs me, of the phone rings.  I really must get sorted out.

Still I did get up to date with washing and ironing ..... and made some peanut biscuits, so some important things got done.
debris4spike: (Dad)
10 days on and I am getting round to writing a bit about dad's funeral.. Like with Mum we all took part, with the 4 boys doing the readings.

Tom started proceedings with this ...

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me too.

When tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart.

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand.
That God came and called my name and took me by the hand.

He said my place is ready in heaven for above,
And that I have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away a tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I'd always thought it wasn't my time to die.

I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,
It seems almost impossible that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.

If I could have stayed for just a little while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realize that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through Heaven's gate and felt so much at home,
As God looked down and smiled at me form his great golden throne.

He said this is eternity and all I've promised you,
Today your life on earth is past but here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow but today will always last,
And since each day's the same here there's no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me I'm right here in your heart.
        By: Jamie Leigh Dale

Tim was actually leading the service, but Tom started first.  We had 3 hymns that Dad chose years ago as well as Dan and Tom doing Bible readings.  Again Nick asked me and I knew what Dad's favourite chapters were .... 1 John 1 and Revelation 21.  The final reading the boys did was this poem read by Joe ...

The Broken Chain

We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again.
      by Ron Tranmer


Nick chose one poem, and Tim the other ... and they just fitted in so well for my daddy
debris4spike: (Dad)
I have this week off, and although there is lots I should be doing, I am going to take the advice of an amazing friend and rest more than work. In some ways it feels so wrong, but then I think of yesterday morning when I didn't wake up till gone 10am. For the first time in 3 years I haven't been tuned into my phone, and for the first time ever I haven't got to account for my time to Mum & Dad. It seems wrong on all sorts of levels.

I also hate the fact I still can't cry. Mum & Dad have been my friends, parents, role models etc, and yet I still can't cry for the absence I now have of them in my life. It feels so bad, and yet I know that when the time is right it will hit me ... I suppose seeing my teenage nephews in tears round Dad's grave on Friday made me feel that there was something wrong with me.

I am hoping to get someone to look at my fence today (waiting for a phone call), I had asked Tim some time ago, but he is "busy". In fact they are away on holiday this week, so hope the weather is good.

Sadly Nick is probably going to lose his job.  He has major health issues, including severe depression, and an ahour each ways drive is not helping.  He loves the job, but not the drive.  He admitted that he could have minimised his symptoms but realised that wouldn't have helped him.  So maybe he is learning to open up a bit.  For the 3 weeks Dad was dying he came every morning for an hour.  He and I did chat, mostly about "nothing", but it was good to be able to spend time with him.

Well, I am going to get sorted out for something to eat ... I am sure Jiffy will be happy to see me type that.

I will catch up with comments now - theye really helped.  Can't guarantee it will be today, but will be in the next few days.  I shall also start to get back to LJ properly, soon.  I have missed you - hope I haven't missed anything exciting in my absense.

THANK YOU

Saturday, September 3rd, 2016 02:21 pm
debris4spike: (Dad)
Thank you for the love and hugs - yes, I will get round to replying tomorrow, but rest assure the words have meant so much




More scraps? http://www.greetingsfromheart.com
debris4spike: (Dad)
How do I write what I have to write - especially after 36 hours of being awake, but I suppose the easiest thing to say is that this morning, with Jiffy and myself by his side, Dad went Home to be with His Saviour & Lord.

He was such a lovely man, and I know touched the hearts of those he met. I shall miss him, the laughs we have had and the support he has given me. He has been such an inspiration to me, and the rest of the family. And, over these last 3 weeks sitting with him during the day, then staying those last 36 hours, so many of the staff (even those who had little to do with him) came to speak to him, to see one of his grins.
 photo DSC_0008_zpshssb6sek.jpg

 photo With dad_zpst3anffu6.png

Having been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, he learned the hard way about struggling, then less than a month after Mum died he had his major stroke, which was where I had to agree to the sad decision that he had to go into care. However I have seen how wonderfully he was looked after there for these last 9 months ... and especially over these last 3 weeks. But after struggling with he is now at peace, and reunited with Mum.

I know this doesn't really do justice to my wonderful father but I didn't sleep at all last night, so I shall do a proper post soon. Like with Mum I will be doing a eulogy, so will share that when I have my thoughts together ...

Until then I leave you with a couple of teasers - yes, my daddy

 photo IMG_1427 2_zps947h6xey.png

 photo DSC_0383_zpsmwiravf6.jpg
May 1935
 photo DSC_0078 2_zps44womnbo.jpg

I love you Dad xx xx

Just A Typical Day

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016 02:46 pm
debris4spike: (Spuffy - End of days (asleep))
This morning Dad and I listened to a double CD of hymns, and Dad wnted me to sing ... shows what a strong person he is if he can cope with that!!!  By then it was lunch, and they got a small amount of soup into him, as well as a small scoop of chocolate mousse.

Tim and Claire came in for 5 minutes, which was a "joy" .... I did learn that the house is exchanged, and the deposit paid, so we are letting them have a set of keys today so they can store stuff.  I have to go there this evening - and it's a Goodbye to the last family home for me.  I also have to take photos of the gas/elec/water meters, and Claire wants pictures of the empty rooms.  They were upset as they couldn't get tme off work and mentioned about the days going past .... I made the mistake of saying that I was worried about work, and they just said that I was OK to have the 3 weeks off with no questions.

About 10 mins after they left Nick arrived.  He was delayed as he had started work today, but apparantly had been called to a meeting and he is now suspended on full pay awaiting an occupational health report.  Hard for him as he has planned his lessons as from Monday, but good that the school is keeping an eye on him.  I had ordered him lunch (which had annoyed Claire), but was really glad I had when I heard this news.  He was only here a short time before he had to head off again.

This afternoon, as well as going to Mum & Dad's I have to take Jiffy to the vets.  He should have gone last week for a check up, but haven't wanted to be away from Dad ... today I just need to get him checked, as I have to take the keys there anyway.

Well as you can imagine, there's no real news.

I do want to say sorry for the lack of focus on your posts ... I hope I haven't missed anything vital.

This will be f-locked because of my Claire comment!!

What A Day

Friday, August 26th, 2016 03:37 pm
debris4spike: (Breast Cancer)
Dad is still with us, but drifting slowly towards Heaven.  Very little response today, but still an occasional smile.  He told me a few days ago he was chatting to mum.  So great to see his mind full of happy memories at this time.

I spoke to my best friend today ... only to find out she had a breast biopsy yesterday, and din't tell me so as not to upset me.

However maybe it is good for us both to have the other one to worry about.

Yes, I owe replies - but my brain can't focus when I am with Dad as I am now.  Thank you for your love and support - it truly means more than I can say.
debris4spike: (Spike & Dru)
While I have been sitting with Dad I have been able to make a few icons, so I could complete my set for the first round of wc20in20 .... No, Brits, WC is not what you are thinking, but it is wild card.  We had to pick a season of BtVS, and we were given the episode.  I chose season 2, and was given the episode "Suprise" ... certainly not one I would have picked for myself.

Anyway, here are the 3 teasers ....

 photo AC 1_zpsrrokzggi.jpg  photo Blood_zpsbel8ykwp.jpg      photo Cat 5_zpsgp0aybps.jpg

Here is the full set )
debris4spike: (M&D wedding)
I am actually sitting with dad and typing this update - the great thing about a Chromebook. Dad's home has Wi Fi, so thought I could actually do an update.

Firstly, sadly, when I said Dad is poorly, I mean that he is now drifting, having had yet another stroke. He just wants to go Home. He is very peaceful and the care is stunning so although I don't want to say Goodbye, but I know he will be going to Heaven, and I will see him again one day. He told me yesterday he wants to go Home, and that he is missing Mum. So hard to realise, but a lot of positives in such a negative time. I have had the privilege of knowing an amazing man for over 55 years, and even now is is half asleep with a beautiful smile on his face.

As I said my back had been playing up ... well my osteopath said I could look on it as good news!!!! For the last 3 years I have struggled, some days terribly, with the CFS ... yet he thinks I am doing so well that my horrific injury of 1982 is now able to become a separate entity. So looking at it that way I could see cause for celebration, and certainly nice to be able to tell dad that after he and mum have been so worried about me.

Jiffy has also been to the vets as he has a small infection in one of his anal glands. Marni has seen him 3 times now, and if there is no improvement next time then he may need a mini op. He was not great on his walk this morning. I had told him dad was poorly and I wonder if he has understood what I was saying.

Anyway, on a brighter note, here are the photos of Glastonbury Tor I promised you ... we had a great day for the walk as the view was amazing.

Well worth the climb )

Dad's asleep at present so I will try to get some more bits done, but doubt I will be focused enough to go through my f-list ... sorry

MIA

Saturday, August 13th, 2016 12:12 pm
debris4spike: (Mum)
SORRY

A bad back meant I didn't sit to go online

Now sitting with Dad who is poorly

Quick update but only have my phone with me

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